


Katherine Ann Beckett

by Original_Cypher



Category: Castle
Genre: F/M, Gen, mentions of: Alexis Castle, mentions of: Martha Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-11
Updated: 2012-03-11
Packaged: 2017-11-01 19:24:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/360377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Original_Cypher/pseuds/Original_Cypher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castle and Beckett make a great duo. If they only learned to <i>talk</i> to each other. Tonight, they even might.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Katherine Ann Beckett

**Author's Note:**

> **Author:** (lj), Original_Cypher(AO3)  
>  **Spoilers:** End of S3 and predictable consequences in S4, so mostly end of S3.  
>  **Disclaimer:** I don't own them. I'm just playing. I'll give them back. If and when I'm done.

There's a bitter taste on the back of Castle's tongue that has nothing to do with the gin in his tumbler. He watches Kate jump in her seat and recoil in on herself as a glass smashes to the ground and a patron of the Old Haunt lets out a shout. It's faint, discreet. He only noticed because he was looking at her. That and the fact that he is haunted by the look on her face in the throes of panic.

He could tell you how many days it's been since Kate was shot without having to do any mental maths. He just knows. And today. Today it's been a month since they've closed the sniper case. _Closed_. There's a euphemism. What they closed was a casket over the man.

Still, it feels as though he got all the wind knocked out of him when her eyes went unfocused and she lost consciousness in his arms,. When she recovered from surgery, he felt better. But only when he saw that she was far from okay did he realize that he was still not breathing freely. Gasping for breath, trying to keep his head above water, he's still waiting. But for what? For things to get better, or worse?

He refuses to feel stupid to be so codependent. They have stated they are partners. She has acknowledged, in her unspoken ways, that she knows there is something more between them. And this is what more-than-friends do: They can't breathe right until the other does. Everything is so raw now, he thinks he may have forgotten how it feels to be just fine.

Beckett looks at her friends, her family. Lanie and Kevin are currently laughing hard at a pun Javier made. Castle is grinning down at his phone. He shows a picture around, Alexis reporting, photographic proof provided, that Martha could not bear to cook without wearing a chef's hat. Beckett smiles. Feeling like an observer but somehow included. She cherishes those moments between cases, with the precinct crew but not at work. Everybody knows she's a cop, but she can also be a girl tonight.

Castle meets her eyes and they grin at each other. Ever since she got him back, she's noticed changes in herself. She looks at him more. She smiles and laughs and doesn't pretend he's not funny to her anymore. She doesn't look away when he catches her eye, she doesn't feel like she should be ashamed of someone noticing when she does.

She knows why. He told her he loved her. It's overwhelming and scary because she's never had anyone love her that much, that well. There's so much as stake here, she doesn't want to lose what they have now. Despite all of that, it makes her feel safe when she thinks of it. Because he does. Because he won't leave. Because she knows how he feels and doesn't have to guess. She's good at guessing, it's her job, but it's exhausting.

Sometimes she feels bad she's doing it to him. She tries to be clear as much as she can. He must know, he's not an idiot.

She watches Rick frown and recoil in on himself, shoulders drawing closer as if he's suddenly cold or physically irritated by something. It's faint, discreet. She only noticed because she was looking at him. That and the fact that she seems to be tuned to his emotions and she just felt a sudden spark of discomfort and distaste crackle around him.

She's about to ask what's wrong when he pushes back from the table and announces he's going to get some air outside. He hasn't nearly drunk enough for it to warrant such a thing, but Javier only shoots him a curious look and doesn't press when he just walks off. Lanie looks at Beckett, but the detective spreads her hands helplessly.

She thinks she knows what just happened, but it doesn't make much sense. It's like evidence and what it tells you. Sometimes, when you're missing pieces of the puzzle, what you have doesn't make sense.

Except, she tells herself, Castle is not a case, he's her friend. “I'll go see if he's okay.” she informs the group as she gets up herself.

She hears Kevin's salacious “Uh huh.” from a distance and wishes Jenny was here to swat his arm, because she's slightly too worried to come back and do it herself.

As soon as she steps outside she regrets not grabbing her jacket on the way. The sun has set and it's getting chilly. She wraps her arms around her middle and looks around, hoping the author didn't take off on a stroll.

“Castle?” She finds him, pacing back towards the bar and frowning. “Hey.” she says, getting his attention. “Everything okay?”

He seems tense, shakily nervous. “Yeah, yeah. I just needed to get out." He doesn't even try to put on a fake smile to reassure her. He states, simply.

Kate looks back to the bar and offers. "Do you need to be alone for a minute?"

"Nah, nah. Your company's always welcome." This time the gentle smile he gives speaks of the truth of his statement. She finds herself trapped looking at it. He notices. There is tension there, for a second, and then something comes back to him and his expression darkens. He looks away.

Beckett reels, then clears her throat. This is getting ridiculous, they are not characters in a romance novel, dammit. And they will _not_ start acting out balcony scenes from Heat Wave. “So, um... What do you suddenly got against Michael? I remember you saying he was a musical genius?”

The look on his face tells her she was right. "It's just... that song. I just can't... I'm learning to love it again.” He says, cryptically. “Slowly."

“I don't get it.” She admits. “Smooth Criminal everything you love. It's fiction. It's a polar in a song."

"Yeah, well maybe it's not so much fiction for me anymore." She's taken aback by the barely quelled anger in his tone.

"...Castle?"

He pins her with a glare that blames her for not just getting it. “ _There's a sign in the window, that he struck you - A crescendo Annie! ... He left the bloodstains on the carpet._ ” He quotes. “I can go on, I kind of know it by heart now."

A light bulb lights on, somewhere, in the back of her mind. No way this could be about-... "I..."

" _You were struck down. It was your doom. .... It was Sunday - What a black day. Mouth to mouth resuscitation, sounding heartbeats, intimidations. Annie are you OK? Will you tell us that you're OK?_ ”

It _is_ , how can he-... "Castle, stop-..." She's cold.

He sings quietly. " _You've been hit by, You've been struck by, a Smooth Criminal._ "

She stares at him in the dead silence that follows, taking a gasping intake of breath. It's the same kind of quiet that rings after a gunshot, and a very accurate metaphor.

She hadn't seen how much _he_ was reeling from that day. How could she have? She had her own drama and PTSD to deal with. Somehow she feels horrible for it anyway. She desperately wants to be fine, but above all she's revolted that he is not. She has been rendered mad by the idea of a simple gunshot ruining her life, but she refuses that it spreads to others.

His hands have folded upon hers, and he's looking at her in the way that he has that she can't deny anymore, that she can't unsee, that says _'You are everything. I love you. I wish you to be happy and to love me too. But please... above all else, don't lie to me right now.'._ He steps in closer and nearly whispers, in tune. " _Annie are you OK? So, Annie are you OK? Are you OK, Annie?_ "

She can feel her entire world in her throat, chocking her up, keeping her from breathing, talking, thinking. She can feel the heat of his hands warming hers. She moves them around so she can grasp his fingers and brings them to her lips. She can finally swallow, take in some air. As she feels his knuckles pressed against her upper lip she thinks, maybe this is it. Maybe _them_ is what will help her work through everything. Not just the shooting. Her mom, her emotional barricade. Life.

His eyes haven't left hers. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay." she manages. "Baby steps, but I'm okay."

A visible crashing wave of relief makes Castle's stiff figure sag, and she can't help her watery smile.

They're not at work. They're not in danger of dying, and he finally got her to admit to some emotion, some attachment to him. To them. To admit to some value of their dynamic. Maybe she did it subconsciously, but she's still clutching his hands and he's not ready to let go. So, he takes one more step.

This is how Esposito and Ryan end up looking outside for their missing friends to find Castle cradling Beckett in his arms and pressing a heartfelt kiss to her forehead while she just looks incredibly peaceful and content to be there.

"Wait, wha-..?!" is all Kevin manages to get out before Javier's hand slaps on his mouth and he's being dragged back inside.


End file.
